Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Free Concert at Zilker Park


The Austin Symphonic Band will be performing a free concert at Zilker Park's Hillside Theater on Sunday, May 11 at 7:00 p.m. If the weather's nice, it's a great opportunity to come sit on the hillside and enjoy an evening of live symphonic band music. I know several of you have kids who are starting band next year. Bring them out for a listen.

For more information, including our playlist for the concert, check out our website at www.asband.org

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008

Editorial Disclaimer

So, it turns out some of you may have found my previous post disturbing. And for all the wrong reasons. What was SUPPOSED to be disturbing was the fact that women are risking their lives for bizarre cosmetic procedures. BUT NOOOOOOOOO. Some of you are disturbed by the fact that I have labia. And that I admitted it. And that my husband seems to know about them.

Actually, I believe the real misunderstanding stems from my reference to the attention paid by my husband to the aforementioned body part. And I'll admit that it could be easily misread. My point was not that that he no longer pays them any attention, but rather that he no longer paid them any CRITICAL attention. Like my earlobes, you know? They're the same earlobes my husband has known for the past 18 years. They are what they are. They're not exceptionally beautiful earlobes. They're not unattractive earlobes. They're just my earlobes. And they serve their purpose. THAT's what I meant.

P.S., You're a goofball! (And yes, I'm talking to YOU.)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Wow! Have women ALWAYS been this messed up?

As a continuation to yesterday's (day before yesterday's? I don't know, the days all blur together somehow) theme, I offer you the following article from Glamour. This is admitedly not a magazine I read, but somehow this article ended up on my MSNBC homepage.

You want a prettier what?!


Now I understand that beauty ideals evolve and devolve over time, but why is it that so many women today are willing to risk everything to acheive more "beauty"? And in such seemingly silly ways? Shorten your toes? Remove your belly button? Reduce the size of your labia?? Yes, it's been a LONG LONG LONG time since anyone other than my husband has seen them (and, frankly, it's been a long time since my husband paid them any critical attention), but I can't think of a single intimate situation in which a partner reacted positively or negatively to the size of my labia. Maybe it was the era, maybe it was the guys I was with, but I think they were, without exception, pleased to have access to labia in general.

But my real question is this. How do I save my daughters from this? How can I, as their mother, protect them from a world full of images that could lead one of them to think she "has to" fix her pointy elbows, or reshape her flat shins or take some other similarly ridiculous surgical measure to repair a feature of her body that is quite perfect as it is?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

My Beautiful Mommy

This book showed up on a forum I frequent and I find it more than a little disturbing.

Apparently, this fancy schmancy plastic surgeon, Michael Salzhauer, M.D wrote it to help kids cope with mommy's plastic surgery: "Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a renowned plastic surgeon, wrote My Beautiful Mommy to help patients explain their transformation to their children. The story guides children through Mommy's surgery and healing process in a friendly, nonthreatening way."

That's all fine and good, I guess (well, other than the cover art, which is, frankly, AWFUL). But what I want to know is where I can buy a copy of the book My Short Chubby Mommy: She May Not Be Beautiful and She Has No Business Wearing Low-Rider Jeans, But She Loves Me, Protects Me, Gets Me Where I Need to Be, and Plays with Me Every Single Day. I think my girls might need some friendly, nonthreatening help learning to cope with ME.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Whole 'Nother Country

The kids in Zoe's class are working on a social studies research project. Their assignment is to create a poster about a country. Zoe chose Germany (Hi, Jenny!). Today she asked me to drop by her classroom so I could see how it was coming along. I looked at her poster and then glanced at the work of some of her classmates. One child had chosen Iraq. Another was researching Italy. There was France, Tunesia, Ireland, Mexico, Egypt, and Louisiana.

Louisiana?!?

I caught the teacher's eye and we exchanged grins. It turns out she grew up in the New Orleans area. She knows as well as I do that Louisiana is in fact a whole 'nother country.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

And Then There Was Nothing

Last week I had Things To Say. This week--nothing.

How can that be?

Perhaps I used up all my brain power working on puns for my imaginary Catholic stand-up routine. And if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, consider yourself one of the lucky ones.

Anyway, I'm still here. We're still busy. It seems we've entered the crazy-busy last weeks of school early this year. . .

As much as I'm NOT looking forward to the heat of the summer, I sure am looking forward to not getting up at 6:25 and rushing around like a crazy chicken all day long.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

And the Honors Keep Rolling In

As much as I don't want to turn this space into a virtual bragbook of my children's accomplishments, we've had a full week of honors at the Cz house this week, and I'm pretty much bursting with pride. Not to be outdone by Zoe's essay award last week, Mia brought home this note today.
To the parents of Mia Cz,
I am pleased to inform you that your child's art work has been selected for exhibit in the 2008 Student Art Show of the Austin Independent School District. Outstanding art work of students in kindergarten through grade twelve will be on display at Once Congress Plaza, 111 Congress Avenue, from April 4 - April 21, 2008.
. . .
You can take pride in the excellent, creative work that your child has done in art class, and in this recognition of his or her achievement.

Mia is pretty stoked, to say the least. She can't wait for the exhibit opening on Sunday.

In other news, Zoe had her first bass guitar lesson today. She LOVED it. We'll have to see how she feels about practicing every day. . .

How in the world did Davy and I end up with these amazing little people????

Ridiculous Household Mishaps

While today's episode is admittedly no match for "Robyn Blows Out Candle Too Forcefully and Splashes Hot Wax in Eyes" in terms of danger and pain, "Robyn Opens Coffee Grinder Too Soon and Covers Entire Kitchen in a Rich, Aromatic Dust" ranks right up there on the basis of sheer stupidity.

What a mess.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

News Flash

Oak pollen makes me grumpy.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Shostakovich, Prokofiev, and Tschesnokoff, Oh My!

The Austin Symphonic Band has a concert coming up on 4/12: "From Russia with Love and More" The title may not just roll off the tongue, but the music is good. And I even have a teeny, tiny little solo in a Frank Ticheli piece. Yeah me!

Here's a link to the relevant info: http://www.asband.org/

If you're interested, let me know and I can get you some tickets.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

How to Get Money from a Giant Grocery Bag

Zoe had a big day yesterday! During the weekly assembly at school, she was awarded two $25 gift cards by a big fuzzy grocery bag. Our neighborhood HEB sponsored an essay contest for second graders, which Zoe won with her fabulous essay entitled "Nutrition" (catchy, no?).

It's possible that her grandfather and her first-grade teacher stuffed the ballot box, but who's to say? Either way, she was proud as could be. And so was I. Especially when she returned to her classroom and gave her teacher one of the gift cards "because I think you buy a lot of supplies for our class with your own money." Her teacher and I were both stunned.

After school, Zoe and I hit HEB and threw caution to the wind. She spent her bank in one shot.
* grown-up scissors
* a battery-powered pencil sharpener
* a 64 pack of crayons
* a lipstick for Mia
* a bookmark
* a lucky bamboo plant
* a box of yellow cake mix
* a tub of chocolate frosting

Then we came home and she baked a layer cake (pretty much) all by herself.

I tell you, it was a big day for an 8-year-old!

Nutrition
Nutrition is an important part of eating right. Fruits and vegetables play a big part in nutrition. If you'd ever herd of a food pyramid, that's balnced nutrition. Eating right isn't all you have to do to stay healthy. There's exercise to but that's a nother S.A.* Balenced nutrition is five servings of fruits and vegetables, two meats, a tad of oils, some oats or grains, and starches. If you didn't have a balnced nutrition, body fat would bild up and you would get fat.

* editor's note: This is my favorite part of the whole essay (or should I say "S.A."?).

Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's All About What We Feed Our Children

It just occurred to me yesterday that this presidential election is the one my kids will remember. They'll be seven and eight when our next president is elected, and they're already very cognizant of the campaigns. They understand that we've never had a female president or a black president, and for that reason alone, they're fascinated by the possibilities. Zoe says she's vote for Obama. I don't know if that's because she knows I'd prefer Obama, or because she likes the timber of his voice. I do know that she can recognize his voice in under three syllables. I turned on the radio in the car yesterday and I changed the station as soon as I realized it was a news report so I wouldn't have to listen to the girls complaining. But as soon as I pushed the button, Zoe said "Go back, Mama. That was Obama!" I was surprised, especially since, in the less than two seconds the radio had been on that station, I hadn't processed who was speaking.

Mia, on the other hand, supports Clinton. She thinks we need a girl president. She's all about the girl-power, I guess. And being somewhat less emotionally needy than her big sister, I suppose she's able to look past Hillary's slightly prickly demeanor.

Also telling, neither one is talking about McCain. Perhaps because he's already been annointed as the Republican canditate and his name just doesn't come up as much. Or perhaps it's because they don't hear US talking abut him--although I'm fairly certain we do, just not nearly as much as the others.

That being said, I'd like to quote yesterday's post from an online acquaintance (a totally one-sided acquaintance--he's my owl-cam guru, and he also maintains a blog) describing his observations of another local child about Mia's age. I do not believe his post requires any additional commentary.


That's Not Politics, Lady

I walked into my neighborhood pharmacy this afternoon to collect a prescription. Standing ahead of me, picking up a prescription of her own, was a woman and her young son. The woman had red hair in quantity and she was dressed in a manner that made me think of her as middle- or upper-middle class, which wouldn't be uncommon in the area. Her son was, perhaps, five years old. The pharmacist behind the counter was asking her for a signature. The woman paused just long enough that the pharmacist began to explain, but the woman cut her off, saying "I understand; it's so I won't use it like crack cocaine." The woman laughed loudly at her own humor.

I stood there reflecting to myself that the woman had no idea what she was talking about, and that the sudden, specific reference to crack cocaine was odd, in any case. Apparently, however, the reference was familiar to her son, who promptly began speaking animatedly: "Yes, Mommy wants McCain. Mommy doesn't want that other one. That sea-monkey. Do you, Mommy?"

The woman, now angry, told her son: "Not now! I am not going to discuss politics in a pharmacy."

I can only assume from the context that "sea-monkey" was a reference to Senator Obama specifically, and to black people in general. I stood there lost for words, but convinced that when such a viewpoint was expressed in front of me, I had some obligation to stand up and say that it was wrong, lest my silence be taken for some level of sympathy with the viewpoint, thereby bolstering it. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a single useful thing to say. The best I managed was a glare at her when she turned to leave.

As is usually the case, the right words came to me shortly after they were of no use to me – while I was walking through the parking lot. Since they weren't said when they were needed, I'll at least say them here: "That's not politics, lady, that's racism."

That woman makes me fear for my state and nation of today. Her son makes me fear for their future. Though started-off in the moral and intellectual dead-end of racism, in the long run the boy has the potential, and the responsibility (shared by us all), to think his way through the errors of our personal and collective past. Good luck, kid. The great state of Texas and our United States are depending on people like you to further their redemption.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Lexical Bling-Bling

Linguist Jeff Nunberg broadcast this commentary about the life and language of William F. Buckley earlier this month on Fresh Air. I never had much of an opinion of Buckley one way or the other. He seemed like a smart guy, but he might have slightly overplayed his hand with the Big Impressive Words. And besides that, he was a (ahem) Conservative. Nonetheless, this line toward the end of Nunberg's commentary made me giggle. And I could easily apply it to any number of writers that I edit on a regular basis: "His penchant for lexical bling-bling helped make him a cultural personage, but it also left him a lesser writer than his gifts might have allowed him to become."

Heheh. That's a good one. "Lexical bling-bling." I'm totally stealing it.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Tonight I Shattered My Daughter's World

It started out simply enough. A kid on the bus had told Zoe that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. "But they are, aren't they, Mama?" she said. "I know because you wouldn't lie to me."

"Oh shit," I thought to myself. I was prepared to continue with the subterfuge until she played the lying card. But that was serious. You can't continue to lie to your child after she calls you on it. I just sort of stared at her, frozen in indecision.

"They are real, right?" she tried again.

I had to make a choice, and quick.

"The spirit of Santa is definitely real," I said, pleased with myself for my quick thinking.

"But the presents, Mama. Who brings the presents? It's not like YOU'RE putting the gifts in the stockings and hiding Easter eggs. . ." Her eyes filled with tears as she realized what she was saying.

And really, things went downhill from there. Zoe cried like her whole world had been ripped apart. I was hoping the realization that she was in on the big grown-up secret would make her feel better. But no. She simply took a mental inventory of everything Santa had ever given her, and the memory of each special gift was like a punch in the gut. I haven't seen that child cry that hard in a L O N G time.

And all that misery was brought to her by ME.

I need a really strong drink . . . or a time machine. If we could just go back to 8:03 tonight, everything would be fine.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

From My Ivory Tower

I'm going to post this image (stolen from Sean) even though I know it makes me look like a snotty elitist snob. And maybe I am. It is possible this poor woman is the nicest woman walking the Earth. But still. . .


Allison--I think you should post this to your neighborhood's listserve. . .

Friday, February 29, 2008

A WhoWhat?

Yesterday I met the father of one of Zoe's friends for the first time. He'd been out of town for the last two months, and he'd just gotten back to Austin. He surprised his daughter by showing up at school for lunch, and we chatted for a few minutes while we waited for our kids to get settled in the cafeteria. It turns out he's a millwright. Anyone who knows what a millwright is, raise your hand.

Yeah. I'd never heard of it either. Turns out Zoe's Friend's Dad travels around the country moving, assembling, and maintaining heavy equipment at construction sites. There's an interesting entry regarding the history of millwrighting(?) millwrightery(?) at Wikipedia: Millwright job description.

Discovering things like this fascinates me. You get to a point in your life (let's call it 40), when you have a pretty good feel for the world around you--at least the little piece of it you inhabit. You sort of know what jobs there are--even if you don't know specifics about them. And then something like this--millwright--flies out of left field and smashes you in the face. How the heck had it never even occurred to me that highly-skilled people have to get that stuff where it needs to be and make sure it works?

Honestly, my ignorance astounds me.

Millwright!

That's your word of the day.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

TLC

The best thing about Kashi's Oatmeal Dark Chocolate TLC Tasty Little Cookies isn't that they're made with all natural ingredients. It's not the 3 grams of fiber or the 7 grams of whole grains. It's certainly not the fact that they taste remarkably like hamster bedding with chunks of dark chocolate.

Nope. The very best thing about Kashi's Oatmeal Dark Chocolate TLC Tasty Little Cookies is that you can leave them out on the counter for a week, and they'll taste exactly the same as they did when they came fresh out of the wrapper.

I think perhaps the word "tasty" has a meaning I'm not aware of. I must consult my Oxford English Dictionary toot sweet!*

BLECH.

* Yes. I know that's not right. But I don't have a clue how to spell it in French (?) and I like the way it looks this way. In fact, I've just decided that if I ever become a roller derby queen or a burlesque star, I'll make "Toot Sweet" my stage name. . .

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Primary Thing

Today, for the first time ever in my 6-days-shy-of 40 years, I voted in a primary. Technically I early voted in a primary, since the Texas primaries are scheduled for March 4th. But I had to drop by Randall's for some milk and there they were.

I actually only voted in one of the elections on the ballot. I figure people more informed than I can choose the candidates to run in the races I don't know anything about. I'll educate myself between March and November, and I'll be ready to vote the full ballot then.

A funny conversation took place as I was paying for my milk after I voted. The cashier looked at my "I voted" sticker and said, "Is this the real election? Or is it just the . . ." Her voice faded off as she searched for the right word.

"Primaries," I said, and she nodded. "There seem to be an awful lot of people voting in the primaries," I said.

"Yeah, well I haven't," said the cashier. "I'm not even registered."

"Well, get registered!" I said, with optomistic enthusiasm.

"No," she said, "It was a personal decision not to." Her tone of voice was clearly meant to convey that she had solid ideaolgical reasons for abdicating her democratic right (responsibility?).

But what the hell? This woman (in her mid-20s, I'd guess) opened the conversation by letting it be known that wasn't informed enough to know for sure what the gobs of people were coming into the store to vote for, but somehow she was so disenchanted with the democratic process that she had made a conscious and informed choice not to register.

Well, I guess that's one less dumb person voting.

Oh crap. Did I say that out loud???